Time Flies

I can't believe it's been over a year and a half since I started this blog, back then solely for the purpose of trying to win an Omnia HD. A lot can change in a year and a half. Here's a list.

-My girlfriend of 3 years and change and I broke up. It wasn't working out. She had changed, and I wasn't supportive at all of who she'd become. It seems she's moved on, and I'm trying to move now. It's a difficult process.

-I entered my senior year at Penn. I made some new friends, and started taking my last year of courses.

-I applied to grad schools. It was an exhausting, and expensive process.

-I got admitted to grad schools. Five out of the seven that I applied to. I had initially thought that Princeton was my top pick, because it was close to my ex and it was a fantastic school, but now it's just a fantastic school. I know I shouldn't let my personal life get in the way of my goals, but that's what I've been doing for nearly 4 years, so I guess I don't really know how to think otherwise. (If it's ambiguous, I got into Princeton, as well as UCSB, UMD, UIUC and Rutgers.)

I keep experiencing these moments where I really miss my ex. I still have a lot of pictures of the two of us, and sometimes I'll flip through them and just miss what we had. She'll tell you that we never had anything, and maybe she was right, but I thought we did. She's technically listed as a follower on this blog, though I have no idea if she'll ever see this. If you do, K, I hope you're doing well. I hope moving on isn't too easy for you, since it's a very painful and trying process for me.

I never meant for this to become a whiny blog, but I'm just so sad right now. How could she? What else is she going to do? Did I mean nothing at all to her? God. It all hurts so fucking much.

Breakups Suck

But ex-girlfriends who go from zero to slut in no time flat suck far more. I thought she would at least respect what we had, but clearly she's capable of moving on without a thought. Which sucks, because I know I'm going to be stuck in this rut wondering how many guys she's made out until I either find a new girl, or just become emotionally hardened to the point where she isn't an item in my mind.

I just don't understand how she's able to move on so easily. It's like she never actually cared to begin with. It's as if the whole time I was dating her, she was someplace else. I knew that the minute she joined a sorority, that we were on our way out. And then we broke up, and honestly, I was ok with that. But I'm not ok with her becoming a slut. I never will be.

I haven't heard from any more grad schools, but I think I know what I'm going to end up doing. I'm pretty sure I'm headed to UCSB next year, so I can just bury any memories that I had here. I can barely sleep in my own room because I keep thinking about her. It's horrible, and it's even more horrible because I know she doesn't care. As long as she has her "sorority" and her alcohol, she'll never think twice about dressing like a whore. And I used to believe that she wasn't the hookup type, but I don't really know what to think anymore. If you can change one part of yourself, you can change everything. And maybe she has. Maybe she's going to go through life with a hard heart and legs wide open. It just sucks that I'll always have to think that was what I dated once upon a time.

Gragh.

Well, as I post this entry, I am surrounded by piles of clothing and a couple of instruments. No, it is not laundry day. I'm moving back to Penn tomorrow. It's weird, since this will be the last time I move back to Penn. It's also my last semester at Penn, ever (I didn't opt to apply there for grad school, so yeah). Kinda depressing.

Grad school apps kinda have me up a wall (still). I sent in all the applications, and according to a friend of mine, Feb 20th-ish is D-Day for Princeton (cross your appendages for me!). I'm ticked, though, because now I have to wait, and fix all the clerical bullshit that makes this a tricky process. Example: Applying for the NDSEG was a bitch and a half because it looked like my transcripts had been lost in the mail. Then suddenly, miraculously, they showed up. Whew, but goddamn USPS, you suck. Same deal with UCSB right now. Also, I still am waiting on a letter of recommendation for Rutgers (which was due back on the 31st -_-;), and one of my recommenders is being difficult and not writing a letter I need. I hope he's just kidding, since the deadline is only 3 days away (it's UMD, if you're curious). In either case, there are many loose threads to tie up still, and I'm going to go crazy waiting til March.

I hope this semester is fun.

Whew boy.

It's been a while since my last post, eh? So let's see. In the end, I didn't win the contest, and instead, ended up buying the Nokia N97. As my girlfriend will attest, I have a severe case of bipolarity with device, but at the moment, I think I like it pretty well. It has a resistive touchscreen, which is semi blah, but it has great resolution for a LCD. I was thinking of junking it for an iPhone, but I've decided to wait it out a bit longer.

Christmas came and passed recently. I'm not Christian, but I think it's a holiday that can be about family too. I got DJ Hero for the PS2, which is a FANTASTIC procrastination tool. More distracting than a girl =P. I, in turn, got my mom and brother a slide scanner and an inductive charging mat, respectively. Both nifty pieces of technology, but I'm feeling oddly tired tonight, so maybe I'll write about them at a later time.

Also, shameless self promotion. If you stumble upon this blog, and seem to enjoy what you see, by all means please follow me. I'll try to make it an interesting follow, I promise.

Quick Post

... between homework assignments.

I walked over to the AT&T store today because I'd been itching to mess around with the Samsung Impression. It's one of Samsung's new OLED display touchscreen devices. It's on the lower end compared to others like the Omnia HD, but I digress.

The display is GORGEOUS. Colors really pop out at you. The contrast ratio must have been like 50000:1. It's relatively smooth to use too. Me being silly, I couldn't figure out whether it was capacitive or resistive, but they definitely attempted to incorporate some level of haptic feedback (the screen vibrates when you touch it). The interface was a typical Samsung OS (not S60, WinMo, or Android), and it seemed useful enough.

Unfortunately, after about 3 minutes of playing, it got switched off, and then needed a pin code to unlock after turning on again. Ah well, I enjoyed my 3 minutes. This phone is definitely on my list of phones now, and I must say that I really don't want to settle for LCDs anymore.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

I have been off the radar WAY too long! Oh college, and its silly end of the semester crunch.

I am excited, though, because there's been some awesome news that Engadget Mobile has been so kind to show me.

There's been a ton of iPhone OS 3.0 sleuthing going on, and it seems people have unearthed the workings of what could be a new iPhone (or two). This version apparently has a 3.2 MP camera with video recording capability, plus a digital compass (someone's aping the N97, methinks), plus all the other OS 3.0 features. Exciting? Marginally so. I'm more excited that someone found one with a possible 5 MP camera. That's a bit more like it, even though it's still not nearly in the league as the Sony Idou and the Samsung Omnia HD (both pack 8 MP cameras)

Also, the Omnia HD passed FCC clearance this morning! Or at least, that's when Engadget found out about it! That means we're all one step closer to holding sweet, sweet OLED goodness.